Ash Read online

  “Have a good night, Ash. I don’t want to see your face until tomorrow morning,” she shouted after me.

  I had a feeling she was doing her best to push me out the door. Her plan worked.

  The scent of barbecue wafted through the air as I pulled up outside Joe’s house. I got out of the car and stretched my arms. I knew exactly where to find the boys, and in usual style, the beer was flowing.

  Joe’s house was a well-maintained, renovated split-level property. He called it his biggest nightmare on many occasions, but it was clear to see he’d put every effort into making it exactly what he and his wife had envisioned.

  I made my way to yard and saw Danny, who was busy chatting with Joe’s wife, Kate. He saw me and winked.

  I shook my head and chuckled. Danny would never change, and I was glad.

  “You took your sweet time,” Marco said, walking up to me and handing me a cold beer.

  “I had to get the kid settled and make sure my mom was okay with babysitting.”

  He nodded. “Fair point.”

  “How’s the food?” I asked.

  “Damn, Joe knows how to cook a steak, and make sure to try the potato salad,” he stated before dropping my company for Joe’s daughter, Claire.

  I sipped my beer and found myself wishing I was back at home. This wasn’t my thing at all. Well, maybe a while ago, but these days, I felt like a spare part. I hated that feeling.

  Danny walked over to me.

  We sat down on the steps of the small veranda.

  “You okay?” he asked.

  I laughed.

  “What’s so funny?” A bemused look spread across his face.

  “You, you’re like a third parent. Thanks for the concern.”

  He glared at me and burst into laughter. “What else do you expect from me? I’m like the brother you never had.”

  We may not have shared any blood, but he was a kindred spirit and had become a part of my family long before I ever met Connie. Our only difference came in the form of my brief encounter with a world that would have saw me dead.

  “That may very well be true,” I replied. “But you are also an attention whore.”

  “And when have I ever denied that?” He held his hands out and shrugged.

  “True.” I laughed. “Which brings me to the fact that you need to start settling down. You won’t be the good-looking goof forever.”

  “Ah, you’ve noticed my charming exterior, huh?”

  Danny was never short of a comeback. His fast wit and incomprehensible babbling would defeat me.

  “Remember, self-praise is no praise.” I chortled.

  “You could possibly be right, but I remember a time when you thought you were the man.”

  “I didn’t think such things at all. I was the man.”

  I winked at him, and saw Sophia walk into the yard. She wore a floral dress. Her long tanned legs caught the attention of several people.

  Sophia didn’t bat an eyelid. She continued walking toward Joe and handed him a bottle of whiskey. She turned around, and her eyes met mine.

  I looked away, embarrassed.

  “Ah,” Danny murmured.

  “What?”

  Danny shuffled on the step and stood, eyeing Sophia before looking back at me. “Is there something I should know?”

  “About?”

  “You and Miss Dubois?”

  “No way!” My voice raised an octave. “Why would you even say that?”

  He laughed and shook his head. I hated when he did this because he became unpredictable.

  “No reason, but I’m sure you aren’t the only guy who noticed those legs and the way that dress clings to all the rights parts,” he replied, and grinned.

  “Fuck it. I need more beer. Want one?” I stood.

  “Sure, Ashley, anything to quench to my thirst.” Danny walked away and left me stewing.

  I walked into the house and helped myself to another beer from the cooler. I turned around, looked out the window, and watched Sophia mingle with my friends. How had I gone from despising her to gazing at her as though I were a prepubescent boy?

  Sophia was everything I didn’t want. She was the complete opposite of Connie—rude, abrasive, and volatile. I didn’t want or need a woman like that in my life. Yet, I kept my eyes on her, observing the way she brushed the hair behind her ear, the way she sipped her beer, right down to how she held her hand over her mouth whenever she laughed.

  What the fuck is happening to you, Ash? I thought, drinking the beer and helping myself to another.

  Five beers later, I emerged from hiding in the kitchen. I joined Joe by the pit and helped myself to some food.

  “Where have you been skulking?” he asked, handing me a steak.

  “Chilling,” I replied, and instantly cringed at using that word.

  Get your act together, I thought.

  “Always good to chill, especially when the beer is nice and cold,” Joe remarked, and smiled at me.

  I took my plate of food and sat down at the picnic table. I tucked into the meaty goodness and devoured every piece, which surprised me. The beer had given me an appetite. I turned around and saw Danny and Sophia giggling. A pang of jealousy swarmed through me. This wasn’t me. I wasn’t the envious type and blamed the beer.

  Instead of ending things, I walked back to the house and popped the cap off another bottle. I stood with my back to the window and heard the door creak.

  Sophia stood there, staring at me.

  I ignored her, pretending I hadn’t seen her, which was pathetic because I looked her in the eye.

  She walked around the counter and stood next to me. “So, have you been avoiding me?” she asked.

  “No,” I lied.

  “Are you sure?”

  “Why do you ask so many goddamned questions?”

  She laughed.

  I turned and faced her, catching a whiff of her perfume.

  “And why are you such an uptight prick?”

  There were no words to describe the mixture of rage and lust I felt for her in that moment. I grabbed her hand and led her down the small hallway. Pushing her inside the small downstairs bathroom, I locked the door behind me.

  “Uptight prick, huh?” I whispered, and gripped her chin.

  She smirked, her eyes focused on mine.

  Before I had the chance to talk myself out of it, I kissed her hard. I couldn’t get enough of her. Our tongues brushed together as her fingers ran through my hair. I pulled the hem of her dress up and lifted her onto the sink, rolling her panties down until they crumpled in a heap on the floor.

  A hiss of pleasure left her mouth.

  I kissed her neck, leaving a small trail of kisses along her collarbone. I dropped to my knees and pushed her legs apart. The scent of her pussy drove me insane, and I buried my face between her legs. I lapped at her womanly juices, licking and sucking, while I gripped the flesh of her ass.

  Sophia let out short gasps and rotated her hips.

  I worked her clit with fast strokes until she trembled from my touch.

  “Oh, God . . . keep doing that,” she purred.

  Her moans urged me on, and I wanted to see her reach climax. I flicked the tip of my tongue against her nub, and she shuddered from the touch. I did it again. This time, I built up speed.

  Her nails dug into my scalp, and her hips bucked forward. “Yes . . . yes . . . yes,” she moaned.

  She came hard and rode my mouth until I couldn’t hold back any longer.

  My cock burned for her. I stood, unzipped my jeans, and released my erection.

  She cupped her hands behind my neck as I retrieved a condom from my wallet and covered my cock.

  I watched her eyes. They were full of passion, hunger, and want as I thrust inside her.

  A little surprised gasp escaped her lips. She smiled as I fucked her.

  I drove my cock into her, hard and fast, eager to please
her.

  She thrust her hips forward, grinding against me.

  The pressure in my balls increased. The more she moaned, the need to shoot my load became an overpowering urge.

  “Fuck me hard, Ash,” she whispered in my ear. Her warm breath against my skin did the trick.

  I stifled my moan and felt the wave of pleasure escape.

  Sophia arched her back and cried out.

  “Jesus Christ,” I said through gritted teeth as I exploded.

  The orgasm shook me to the core. I closed my eyes, trying to compose myself. Not a muscle in my body was spared. Opening my eyes, I gazed at Sophia before I kissed her gently.

  As I pulled out of her, she touched my face and smiled. Neither of us said a word as we cleaned ourselves up.

  I sobered up and couldn’t get out of there fast enough. The realization that I did something I thought I’d never do had me at loggerheads. Guilt raced through me. I despised myself and that was never a good place to be.

  “Fuck!” I stormed out of Joe’s house and slapped my head a few times, the anger welling inside me. “You stupid, stupid idiot.”

  Danny was hot on my tail.

  I jumped in my truck and fumbled with the keys, trying to start the ignition. I was hell-bent on getting out of there and didn’t care that I was way over the limit.

  Danny opened the door and reached over to switch off the engine. He pocketed the keys.

  “Hey, calm the fuck down.”

  “Give me the damn keys.”

  A serious expression spread across his face. “Get out of the truck, Ash.”

  I held onto the steering wheel, my knuckles turning white. I clenched my jaw and closed my eyes. For a moment, I tried to pretend I wasn’t there, telling myself that none of what had happened was true.

  “Ash, what’s happened?” Danny’s voice pulled me from my thoughts.

  I turned my head and glared at him. Tears stung my eyes.

  “I need to get away from here,” I mumbled.

  “You’re not making sense,” Danny said, shaking his head. “Is there something wrong at home? Is it Jake?”

  I gritted my teeth, not wanting to have to admit what I’d done.

  “Ash, you’re scaring me.”

  “I can’t be here. I can’t believe what I’ve done.”

  Danny touched my shoulder.

  I shook my head and rested my head in my hands. My head pounded, and my stomach spun. All I wanted to do was go home to bed.

  “Come on, man. What’s got you all freaked out?” Danny asked.

  “I cheated on Connie.” My chest ached.

  Danny said nothing at first. He curled a hand around my arm and gave me a gentle squeeze.

  “C’mon, man, let’s get you home.”

  I didn’t have to elaborate on what I’d said. Danny understood how I worked.

  “Scoot over. I’m driving,” he insisted.

  I got out of the truck and walked around to the other side, pulling the door open.

  Sophia appeared in the doorway of the house and stared at me.

  I looked away in shame, wanting the ground to open up and swallow me whole. I’d done many things in life. A lot of shame came with those memories, but none compared to the embarrassment that consumed me. I slid into the car seat and tugged the door closed.

  Danny looked at me and started the engine. He released a pent-up breath and said, “Was it her?”

  I ran a hand over my face, unwilling to admit to anything. Turning my head, I looked at him without uttering another word.

  He raised an eyebrow and pulled the truck away from the curb. “I’m not gonna say I’m shocked,” he admitted. “Perhaps a little pissed, but not overly surprised.”

  There wasn’t much for me to say, not at the moment. All I wanted to do was sleep. Everything else could wait.

  “Ash . . . Ash, wake up. We’re home.”

  Danny’s voice echoed in my head. I opened my eyes. The taste of beer had my stomach turning. It was dark. Although I was relieved to be home, I couldn’t bear the thought of talking to my mother. There were some things I still found uncomfortable. My showing up drunk was one of them.

  “Hey, can we sit here for a few?” I mumbled, holding my head as the headache loomed.

  “Sure,” Danny replied.

  “I am such a fuck-up, Danny.” I sighed and closed my eyes.

  “How?” he asked. “Because you fucked Sophia?”

  I shifted in my seat and faced him. “C’mon, man, don’t say it like that.”

  I hated hearing him being so blunt. It was all because of Sophia, and I couldn’t get her out of my head.

  “Ash, you know me. I don’t beat about the bush.” He smiled. “I love you like a brother, but I am not going to sit here and mollycoddle you. That’s not who I am. You know that. Hell, everyone does, too. Remember all those years ago, when you got into trouble. What did I say to you when you got bail?”

  The pep talk was coming. I had to man up and take what was coming my way.

  “You told me I was going to wind up in jail or dead,” I replied. “But this is different.”

  “I hate to break it to you, but this is no different. What you’re doing to yourself is like slow suicide.” He paused for a moment and ran a hand over his face. “Man, you’ve a kid who worships the ground you walk on and a good solid career. Do you honestly think Connie wants you living your life in the past? Think about it, Ash. You know I’m right.”

  “I can’t just move on. I’m not like you, Danny. I’m not a man who can do whatever the hell he pleases and sleep content at night,” I said. “And I mean no disrespect, you know that, but I’m not ready for women or their mind games.”

  “Then, you’re never gonna be ready. You’re gonna use Connie as an excuse to never move on, and that’s a shame because you deserve to be happy, too.”

  We sat in silence for a while. The two of us were stubborn. Neither of us wanted to admit the other was right.

  Danny wasn’t afraid to say exactly what he was thinking. In a way, I was glad. I needed someone who had a knack for making me see things with a little clarity.

  “Do you ever think about how my life would have gone down a completely different road if I had never met Connie?” I asked, breaking the silence.

  “All the fucking time.”

  “I think Andrés had such a hold over me back then,” I admitted.

  “He had a hold over anyone who was weak enough to let him in, and I don’t mean anything by that.” He held his hands up.

  “Sometimes, I blame my dad for not being around more. He left Mom to do it all, and I was a little prick who took advantage of her good nature,” I said. “Even that day, in that stupid program they put me on, Andrés turned up at the library and made a scene.”

  “Yeah, that’s when Connie stuck her nose in your business.”

  Remembering that day put a smile on my face. I laughed and shook my head.

  “Andrés didn’t know where to look when she stepped into his face.”

  “Yeah, Connie had a thing about that.” Danny laughed.

  Connie had a larger than life personality that stopped me dead in my tracks. She turned my life around, and I couldn’t have been more proud to have her as my own.

  I sighed and slumped my shoulders back against the seat, revisiting that first day.

  I had been failing school so bad. The social worker insisted that I take extra classes, which meant Saturday mornings were no longer for sleeping in.

  Begrudgingly, I turned up at the school library. I saw nothing but geeks, with their round double-rimmed glasses, glaring at me as I walked in.

  My mother stood behind me, holding a form in her hand. “Please behave, Ashley,” she muttered.

  I didn’t look at her. This was all her fault. Her, the stuck-up judge, and the social worker. A bunch of assholes who wanted to make my life hell.

  “Ashley Benton.�
�� The teacher called my name and looked over the rim of his glasses at me.

  “My name’s Ash.”

  “Ah, but here it clearly states Ashley.” He pointed at the form. “So therefore, you will be regarded as Ashley.”

  I wanted to punch him in the face hard. Since my last hearing, I was meant to be on my best behavior, which meant not assaulting the aged.

  “What time should I pick him up?” my mother asked.

  “Oh, we should be done here by three-fifteen.”

  My mother turned toward me. Her eyes were full of hurt.

  I shrugged and ignored her as she walked out of the room.

  “So, Ashley, you are paired up with Connie Fletcher.” He directed me to a table at the front of the library where a bespectacled brunette sat, frowning at me.

  This was all I needed, some know-it-all girl who would bore me to tears.

  I rolled my eyes and walked over to the table. “Where do I sit?”

  “Take your pick. There are five other chairs available,” she said, pursing her lips.

  My cheeks burned.

  Several students glanced in my direction.

  I sat down across the table from her. Unsure of what to do or say, I stared at the label on my bag.

  “So, I’m Connie,” she said.

  I shrugged and said nothing.

  “Okay, Mr. All-Tatted-Up-With-No-Tongue-In-Your -Head, here’s the deal. You’re behind in pretty much everything. I can see from your grades that you really don’t give a shit about school, but unless you intend on making a living doing whatever it is that makes your life so darned fantastic, I suggest graduating with your diploma. You never know when it might come in handy.”

  I sat upright and focused on her. “And who has given you the authority to judge me?”

  “Principal Boone, and if you’ve a problem with that, Ashley, it’s best to take it up with him.”

  She laughed and shook her head. Connie raised an eyebrow and stretched across the table, pulling my bag in her direction.

  “Hey, that’s mine.” I tried to snatch it back.

  “Too bad. I need to see what we’re going to be working with. Besides, you can tell a lot about a guy from what he packs in his bag.”

  “Is that so?”