Within The Shadows Read online

  He shook his head while his own tears fell as he broke his silence. His face was reddened, but it was his eyes that were full of tears and sorrow. “I can’t excuse what I’ve done. I make myself sick just thinking about it.”

  “Marc, you screwed another girl behind my back! You promised you would wait for me, and now it’s too late!”

  “Please, Giselle. Please, give me another chance,” he begged.

  “I can’t. I could never trust you again. You allowed it to happen. Live with it,” I hissed coldly at him.

  With more fight than I expected, he raised his voice at me. “Maybe you ought to ask your buddy about that night. After all, he was the one who set the whole damned thing up. I was the fool who fell for his scheme. He always wanted you, and I was constantly in his way.”

  “What? Who do you mean?”

  “Oh, come on, G, your good, old buddy Alex. He was behind it all. I was too damned drunk and high to realise what was happening until, well, it was too late.”

  “What?”

  “Alex threw a party at his place downtown. The pot was free, so I and a couple of the guys thought why not. Got stoned out of our minds, and drank his bar dry. Next thing I know, Evie is all over me, and Alex was cheering her on, saying it wouldn’t leave the room. What happened there, stayed there.

  “I had no idea the whole thing had been a set up. I know I screwed up big time, but Jesus, Giselle, I deserve a little something here. I’ve beat myself up over this for months now. You can’t punish me any more than I’ve already punished myself. I love you. It has always been you, only you.”

  I could hardly believe it. Was it really true?

  It all started to make sense now. The realisation of the past seven weeks came crashing home. Everything started to add up. Alex had been behind everything. He had coaxed Marc into having sex with Evie. The file I had found in Afanas’s study had a list of girls – girls who would be easy prey; easy enough to sleep with Marc. The whole thing had been orchestrated by Alex as a way to make me defenceless.

  It worked.

  I had been in the dark, but now my eyes were opened. Now, I would do anything to pay him back for the pain and torment he had caused me. He had clouded my thoughts long enough, and now it was time to wake up and take action.

  Marc and I looked at each other. We had shared so many firsts together, and the one thing that was important had been taken from us. There was nothing we could do to replace that lost innocence, but if we tried, perhaps our relationship could find some salvation.

  I secretly hoped.

  Marc walked up close to me. The familiar smell of his cologne floated around me. He was delicious, and I wanted him to touch me. I wanted to feel his warm skin against mine.

  To have him hold me, love me, and maybe, in time, we could share something more than this. At that moment, I had already forgiven him. I think he could sense that, because what happened next was the single most beautiful moment of my life. He gently pressed his lips against mine, and kissed me. His sweet breath flew into me. I held onto him, refusing to let him go. I did not want to lose him again. I could have stayed in that brief embrace forever.

  I really was home!

  We never noticed my mother standing at the door. She cleared her throat, gaining our attention. She looked thinner than usual, but I put that down to the stress of my leaving. She smiled at us, her obvious approval written all over her face.

  “Giselle, honey, I hate to interrupt, but you have another visitor, a man. He said he met you while you were on your travels,” my mother said with a hint of irony in her voice.

  “Oh, okay, um, I’ll be down in a minute. I . . . need to change.”

  “Okay, Sweetie. I’ll tell him you won’t be long. Come along, Marc. Giselle needs her privacy.”

  They left the room, closing the door behind them. I rummaged through my wardrobe, and chose a pair of denim shorts and my favourite Sponge Bob t-shirt. I brushed my hair into a loose ponytail, and made no effort at putting on make-up. What was the point?

  I shifted down the stairs at record speed, coming to a halt when I saw the neatly dressed man sitting in our living room, drinking tea from one of my mother’s finest cups and saucers.

  Leonid.

  I placed my hand over the charm, and prayed for protection, even if I did not believe.

  Goddess, be by my side.

  He smiled at me. His eyes were an odd shade of green, but I stayed my distance, and reluctantly replied when he spoke to me.

  “Giselle, you never told me how enchanting your mother is,” he mused.

  My poor mother loved the praise. She smiled, and gushed, “Oh, Mr. Baranski, it is nothing really.”

  “Yeah, my mother kinda has that affect on people. She’s got a good heart.”

  “Well, you have obviously followed in her footsteps. You have taught your daughter well, Mrs. Bergman.”

  My father piped in, the contempt in his voice only just under control. “What exactly do you want with our daughter?”

  Marc stood in the background. His posture was straight and rigid. He was uncomfortable, and he stared hard at Leonid.

  “Mr. and Mrs. Bergman, I’ll jump to the chase here. Giselle, whom I met a few months back, has an ability that my company is keen to explore. You could look at it as a form of medical research, for the greater good of man. She would be an invaluable asset if she were to participate in a trial we are doing back in Baltimore. With your permission, we would love for her to consent.” He was so confident.

  I could not believe it. He was actually trying to sweet talk my parents. Holy shit, I could not let them get dragged into this whole mess.

  “Baltimore? Oh, Lord, that’s nearly a thousand miles away!” my mother gasped as she panicked.

  “Um, can we discuss this in private?” I addressed him. “Is that okay with you guys?”

  My father was reluctant to leave, but my mother, who had her powers of persuasion down to a fine art, finally got him to join her in the day room. “Come along, Geoff. Give her some space, just this once.”

  Once they had left, I flung myself at Leonid, thumping him hard in the chest. “Okay, cut the bullshit. What do you want?” I hissed.

  “Giselle, is that any way to speak to someone who has your best interests at heart?”

  “Oh, my frigging God! Do you even have a heart? Did he put you up to this? Huh?”

  “On the contrary. He has no idea where you are. Alexander is frantically searching the mountains. I think Antoine did a very fine job of binding your charm, but of course, Antoine is no match for me.”

  He stood up, and walked closer to me. His distinct smell hit me straight away, its odour luring me in. “It has come to my attention that things have taken a turn for the worse. I did always believe that Atarah was drawn to the darkness a little too much for my liking, but again, that was what first attracted me to her. She willingly took on the role of mother to my son, but I was blinded by her beauty, and her devious plans.”

  I cut him off. “Right, so where do I fit in all this? I won’t be a surrogate or whatever it is your friend, Vadim, foresaw. I refuse!”

  “I am not asking you to be a vessel for Alexander. I am asking you to allow me to father your child. My intentions are pure. They are not perverse and dark like Atarah’s. Our child would be for the greater good of man as well as the Nelapsi.”

  “You are so out of your mind. I couldn’t do that with you. It would be like having sex with my father . . . ugh. God, no.” I could not believe what I was hearing.

  “I promise you, our union would be with good intention. It would not be clouded with deception. You would have full knowledge of everything that would happen.”

  “I can’t. I’m finally having the chance to get my life back on track. Marc and I could actually make a go of things. I don’t want to. I want to forget everything that has happened. You and your twisted family have screwed with me long enough. I want my life back, and now that I’m home, I’m staying.
”

  He laughed at me. His eyes glistened amber, and then returned back to their previous shade. “Then tell me, wise one. How will you feed your hunger? Will your boyfriend allow you to feed from him? Is he willing to let you drink from his soul? Bear in mind that each time he would lose years from his life. You are no longer a complete human. You are one of us, and that is something which can not be denied.”

  “What will you do if I don’t agree?”

  “You will agree.” He was confident.

  “How can you be so sure?” I tested him.

  “Because if you love your family and all those you hold close to your heart, you will leave with me tonight.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  IT WAS HAPPENING again. I was being forced into an impossible situation, one where I had no control over my future. I hated being so defenceless. I felt I was going insane, and there was nothing I could do to prevent the inevitable happening. I wanted the ground to open up, and swallow me whole. If I was going to Hell, why not just take me, then and there?

  Leonid stood before me. He was strong, and I was no match for him. Even the charm held no resistance against him.

  “I will give you until sunset to make your mind up. Remember, Giselle, I do not make threats lightly, and as much as it pains me, I will do as I say.” He left the room, passing my parents as he walked out of the house.

  Inside my head, I was a mess. I wanted to protect those I loved, but how could I put a price on my own head? I did not know if I could go through with Leonid’s demands. How could I do what he wanted, and still remain true to myself? A child born from us would be doomed. The outcome was no longer the ‘rosy’ happily-ever-after I was first made to believe. Either way, I was screwed.

  My mother came in, her smile weary. “Honey, is everything all right?”

  “Depends on what you define all right.”

  My father decided it was his turn, and boy, when he wanted to say something, he made sure everyone listened, neighbours included. “Young lady, I do not appreciate some stranger coming into my home, and telling us things about our daughter, things that even we as parents have no knowledge of. It is high time you gave us reasons for your running away, and putting us through hell.

  “Do you have any idea how hard this has been on us? We anticipated the phone ringing, asking us to come and identify your body. Can you even begin to imagine what that was like for us? As if we didn’t have enough to deal with. Your poor mother has been back and forth from the doctors for weeks now. Test after test, and her only concern has been you. Unlike you, she is not selfish. She was thinking about you, putting you before her own health.”

  “What?” I asked, stunned.

  “Geoff, stop it, please!” My mother tried not to cry.

  “She needs to know. If anything, she has pushed you further over the edge. She has to take some responsibility for this whole damned mess,” he pleaded with her.

  “Dad! What’s wrong with mom?”

  “I have Leukaemia,” she blurted out, her face expressionless.

  The room spun as I tried to comprehend what I was hearing. My mother was sick, and this whole time I was busy thinking about my own selfish needs. I looked at her. She was thin and pale. The dark rings under her eyes were lightly hidden by make-up, and I could not help but to notice her hands shaking. I ran into her arms, and sobbed. I did not want her to die. I wanted her to have a long and healthy life. This was my fault. We had no one else to blame but me.

  “I’m so sorry. Please, tell me you’ll be okay.”

  “I . . . can’t do that. I have to have more tests and treatment. We don’t know if the treatment will be any use. It’s progressive,” she cried.

  I wiped my own tears from my face. “No! This cannot be happening. Daddy, please tell her you can fix this. Please!” I begged my father.

  “I’m afraid this is one thing I have no control over. We have the best doctors, but we just cannot guarantee the outcome.” For the first time, I saw my father looking defeated, something I had never witnessed before.

  “Did I do this? Did I make you ill?” I inquired angrily.

  “This was happening long before you left. It is out of our control. I’ll just continue to take my meds, and hope for the best, but maybe you should prepare yourself for the worst,” she muttered.

  “No!” I refused to accept what she was saying. “That is something I will not do!”

  I ran from the room, past Marc, and out into the evening sun. Tears burned in my eyes as my throat ached from holding back my screams. I ran down to the shore of the lake.

  Families were out together, laughing and enjoying each other. Their innocent faces mirrored memories from my past. I was once like them, completely caught up in my own world, thinking the world revolved around me. I, like many others, thought I was invincible. Bad things only happened to others, not to me or my family.

  Boy, was I wrong.

  It was shortly after six, and I had until around nine that night to make up my mind. It felt as though I was taking part in a game of Russian roulette, and I was getting closer to pulling the trigger with the gun pointed at my own head. I did not want to leave, especially now with my knowing that my mother was sick. Yet if I stayed, I knew Leonid would not think twice about killing my family. I could not live with those consequences.

  Marc had followed me down to the lake. He did not speak. Instead, he watched me, trying to figure out what I was going to do next.

  “I suppose you heard all that. Did you know she was sick?” I asked.

  “My mom told me. I think your mom confided in her a month or so ago. I’m sorry.”

  “What’s to be sorry about? People get sick all the time.”

  “Yeah, but your mom is in a bad way.”

  “How can you be so sure, huh? She won’t give up without a fight. You know her. She is Marilyn Bergman, for Christ sake! She is a force to be reckoned with,” I choked.

  “Giselle, there are some things even your mom can’t control.”

  “I have to leave, you know.” It came out without me realising it.

  Surprised, he shoved me round to face him. “Are you crazy? You’ve only just got back. You can’t just disappear again!”

  “Who said anything about disappearing? I’ll just be out of town for a while. I’m going to go with Leo – Mr. Baranski, and let them do their tests. I’m kinda obliged to.”

  “You have no obligation to those hounds. You didn’t sign anything, so step up, and do the right thing by your family.” Anger filled his words.

  “You have no idea what commitment I have made to these people. I wasn’t thinking straight when I left, and, well, I made some stupid mistakes. Now it’s my duty to fulfil my obligation, and don’t dare lecture me on what is right or wrong. You haven’t come close to earning a say in what I do.”

  I had hurt him. Regret drowned my heart as I watched him walk away. It was better that way. I was protecting him from the truth. If he knew what I was going to do, I think he would have taken on anything to stop me. I could not live with his death on my conscience. I loved him too much.

  Behind me, a voice I knew well spoke up. “I trust you have made up your mind?”

  “Antoine, why didn’t you stop him from coming here?” I questioned him.

  “Because, sweet Princess, Leonid is not our foe. He will take on the role of Alexander. As I said before, we do not have much time, and, well, you can figure out the rest yourself.”

  “So you weren’t really protecting me from anything. You were just safeguarding your own plans.”

  “No, Giselle. We were protecting you from your eventual death. This way, you get to live, and see your child grow up to be a master among his followers.”

  “Aren’t I still bound to Alex? He’ll sense me with another,” I asked curiously.

  “Your bond cannot be broken, but the distance can weaken it. The less you consume of each other, the more fragile it will become. And, of course, if Leonid successfully im
pregnates you, the likelihood is that your bond with Alexander will eventually die.” Confidence flowed from him.

  “I thought I could trust you, Antoine.”

  “Dear, sweet Giselle, I am the only one you can trust. Well, myself and a few others, but none-the-less, I am thinking about you and your safety. At the same time, I admit that I cannot deny my people their rightful heir.”

  “So I guess I am still a prisoner, right? I mean, what choice do I have?” I spat through gritted teeth. “Hmm? Exactly. Just as I thought.”

  “Giselle, I fear that coming home has brought out the devil in you. I like this feisty side, but, alas, you do have a choice, and you really ought to choose wisely. Leonid can be quite the monster when pressed hard enough.”

  It was all so easy for him. He had no family or sick mother to worry about. I knew I would agree, and that was something that sickened me all the more. I had lost my fight, but I had a request of my own.

  “Okay, but I want something in return.”

  He shuffled uneasily, not knowing what I was going to say. “Within reason.”

  “I want one last night at home, and I want to spend it with Marc. I want to be with him just this once. To know what genuine love feels like.”

  He did not answer me for several minutes. He eyed me as I anxiously waited for his approval. “Okay. You have until sunrise. And, Giselle, give me no reason to come looking for you.” He left, while I stood watching the water as it trickled on the stones in front of me.

  I envied those with a simple life. Without a second thought, I ran back towards the house. No one heard me as I crept in, and carefully climbed the stairs to my room. I packed lightly, only taking the necessities, and some pictures. I sat at my desk, and brokenheartedly wrote to my mother.

  Dear Mom,

  I’m so sorry for all the pain I’ve caused you. If I had just confided in you about the whole mess with Marc, maybe things would have been different. I don’t know what to do. I’m bound by some crazy deal I made when I left, and there’s no get-out clause.